I read this article this week, and it really resonated with me and where I am at in life at the moment. My husband has been very ill, and we have spent a lot of time in hospital and doctor’s visits and life has certainly been a big roller coaster ride. At the moment he is on a new treatment and seems to be responding well, but you never know what is around the corner!!
The answer to control is practicing surrender.
“Trying to maintain control in this life is a bit like trying to maintain control on a roller coaster. The ride has its own logic and is going to go its own way, regardless of how tightly you grip the bar. There is a thrill and a power in simply surrendering to the ride and fully feeling the ups and downs of it, letting the curves take you rather than fighting them. When you fight the ride, resisting what’s happening at every turn, your whole being becomes tense and anxiety is your close companion. When you go with the ride, accepting what you cannot control, freedom and joy will inevitably arise.
As with so many seemingly simple things in life, it is not always easy to let go, even of the things we know we can’t control. Most of us feel a great discomfort with the givens of this life, one of which is the fact that much of the time we have no control over what happens. Sometimes this awareness comes only when we have a stark encounter with this fact, and all our attempts to be in control are revealed to be unnecessary burdens. We can also cultivate this awareness in ourselves gently, by simply making surrender a daily practice. At the end of our meditation, we might bow, saying, “I surrender to this life.” This simple mantra can be repeated as necessary throughout the day when we find ourselves metaphorically gripping the safety bar.
We can give in to our fear and anxiety, or we can surrender to this great mystery with courage. When we see people on a roller coaster, we see that there are those with their faces tight with fear and then there are those that smile broadly, with their hands in the air, carried through the ride on a wave of freedom and joy. This powerful image reminds us that often the only control we have is choosing how we are going to respond to the ride.”
For most of my life I have thought that I was in control, but when I look back over all the big twists and turns, they were never of my doing. I had a plan, a goal, an idea, and then life happened. That is certainly what has happened this year. All the plans and goals have gone out of the window while I support my husband.
Letting go of how I would like my life to be has been the big challenge of this year, and I think I am finally achieving it. I have learnt to enjoy the small things, to take each day as it comes and surrender to what is. This has not been an easy process, and I appreciate each person who has supported me, each article that I have read, and each small step I have taken. It has been a journey and using the tool of EFT tapping has been a major tool along with journaling, gratitude, and meditation. We have these tools for a good reason, and yet sometimes we have to remind ourselves to use them. I am so grateful that I have achieved a level of peace and acceptance and know that using the tools at my disposal have been an essential part of that process.
If you would like to see how to use tapping to help with stress, then check out my youtube video here