I don’t want to make them feel bad.
Do you have a group of girlfriends that you love to do things with?
You go to the movies and eat popcorn and lollies.
You go out to lunch and share some desserts.
You go out and party and enjoy some drinks together.
Many of my peers love to go on cruises and talk about the wonderful food on board, the smorgasbords, the stuffing themselves so they have to rest all the rest of the day.
Or they travel and eat and drink everywhere they go.
Then we all meet and talk about how fat we feel, how much weight we have to lose and the latest ideas we have to achieve said weight loss. Sometimes someone will go on a diet and lose weight. Most of the time everyone is talking about it, but not doing anything about it.
The first diet I ever went on was because everyone at work was talking about this magic diet. I only wanted to lose 3kgs, but I still did this crazy cabbage soup diet. I did fairly well at it, and I actually enjoyed the cabbage soup, and did lose a bit, but as soon as the two weeks were up I went out and enjoyed my food again. Going on that diet was crazy and completely unnecessary for me, but because everyone else was doing it, I felt I needed to do it too. Instead of improving my health it started me on the diet roller coaster. Lose some weight, add it back on and a bit more. Go on another diet, lose a bit, put it all back on.
What a crazy idea!
If I was to talk to that 35-year-old me, I would stay “DON’T!!! Stay away from diets and enjoy and love the body you have. You look fantastic.”
Why did I go on that first diet? Because I wanted to be a part of the group. I wanted to belong. I wanted to join in the conversations about the diet and how it was going and how much everyone was losing. I was not capable of saying “its OK, I don’t need to lose any weight. I love how I look and feel right now.”
Many years, many life events, lots more wrinkles and lots more fat, but we are still having the same conversations.
If one of the group does lose some weight everyone is asking what they did. What diet are they on, how is it going, how much weight have they lost. And then asking themselves if they can do it too.
Do you shy away from attention? Do you worry what others will think of you if you start looking hot?
Imagine for a minute that you are on stage being congratulated for your new look and in the audience is all your family, your friends, people who know you from Church and work. Close your eyes and see yourself. How do you feel?
Is there anyone in the audience who is not thrilled. Your husband? What is he saying? Is he concerned that you are now too hot for him? That you will attract attention?
Your mother, your sister, your friend? What are they saying? Are they envious, unhappy with you because you will no longer indulge in tons of chocolate and sweets. Do they get offended when you say that you do not want a 1kg Toblerone as your birthday present?
Are they unhappy when you want to meet up and go for a walk instead of a drink?
What can you hear people saying about you?
“She is so stuck up. She thinks she is so good. Has she got a new boyfriend, is that why she lost weight?”
Why would anyone want to lose weight if this is how those people who love us and spend time with us respond?
This is weight loss blocker 3 and it is a very sneaky blocker because on the surface you would think people would be so happy for you, but it is not always the case.
Spend a little bit of time imagining what life will be like when you lose the excess weight and whether that dream has some downside.
If this is your blocker it will stop you dead in your tracks because we all want to belong, to feel loved and accepted. EFT tapping can help you sort out what your feelings are and what your fears are and help you see the bright future for the new you.
If you would like to discuss finding out why you are stopping yourself from losing weight book here (https://kaybayly.as.me/askmeanthing) for a free chat.