Grief. The word often conjures images of funerals, black clothes, and tear-streaked faces. But grief isn’t reserved for loss through death. It’s a natural, universal response to any kind of significant change. When life shifts—whether it’s the end of a marriage, a child leaving home, a job loss, or even the transition to retirement—grief often comes along for the ride. And as uncomfortable as it may feel, grief is not your enemy. It’s a sign you’ve loved, cared, or invested deeply in something, and it is proof of your humanity.
What is Grief?
Grief is the emotional reaction to loss or change. It’s not just sadness; it’s a complex cocktail of emotions that can include anger, confusion, relief, guilt, anxiety, or even numbness. It’s your mind and heart trying to reconcile the gap between what was and what now is. Grief is normal and we will all experience it, and if you think you have skipped it, then you are experiencing one off the other reactions to grief – denial.
This process can be triggered by many events: the loss of a loved one, a breakup, moving to a new city, losing a job, or retiring from one that you loved. Even positive changes, like your children leaving home, can stir up feelings of grief as you let go of one chapter of life and step into the unknown of another.
How Grief Shows Up
Grief isn’t always obvious. Sometimes, it’s a quiet ache or a sense of restlessness. It can manifest physically—fatigue, not wanting to get out of bed, headaches, or a tightness in the chest. Mentally, it might show up as forgetfulness, difficulty concentrating, or feelings of overwhelm.
It’s also sneaky.
You might think you’re “fine,” only to burst into tears at the sight of an old photo or find yourself irritable during a casual conversation. Grief doesn’t follow a timeline or a set pattern. It comes and goes in waves, sometimes when you least expect it.
Why Accepting Grief is Better Than Ignoring It
Ignoring grief might feel like the easiest option—especially in a world that often encourages us to “move on” quickly. But suppressing grief doesn’t make it disappear; it burrows deeper. Unprocessed grief can lead to long-term issues like anxiety, depression, or even physical health problems.
Acceptance, on the other hand, is liberating. When you acknowledge your grief, you give yourself permission to feel and heal. It’s like opening a pressure valve; the emotions might be intense at first, but they become more manageable over time.
But beware – Acceptance does not mean staying in sadness. If you are finding yourself in tears every day, and not able to manage the essentials of your day after about 6 months after the event, it could be that your grief has moved into depression, and you need to talk with someone.
Acceptance means recognizing that grief is a normal response to change and giving yourself grace as you navigate it. It might involve talking to a friend, journaling, seeking professional support, or simply allowing yourself a good cry.
Grief is Part of Growth
Every big change—whether it feels positive, negative, or bittersweet—requires us to let go of something. And letting go is hard. Grief is the bridge that helps us move from what was to what will be. By accepting it as a natural part of life, we honour the significance of what we’ve lost and create space for the new possibilities ahead.
So, when grief shows up, don’t see it as a sign of weakness or failure. See it as a testament to your capacity to feel deeply and live fully. And trust that, like every storm, it will pass, leaving you stronger and more resilient on the other side.
If this sounds like you, and you are ready to move to ‘what’s next’ in life, we are offering you a fantastic opportunity to join us in Bali, for a retreat especially designed for women 50s and 60s plus who have navigated significant change in their lives, and are ready to work towards new horizons.
Kay x