Imagine you’re at a party, and you spot someone with the last piece of cake. You really want it, but something holds you back from asking.
Why do we struggle to ask for what we want?
Now, swap that cake for a raise, investment, or to be paid for work you have done as a consultant or a coach. Now you have a pretty good picture of the challenges women face in the business world when it comes to asking for money.
Let’s dive into the whys of this perplexing issue.
The Age-Old Battle of the Sexes
First off, let’s talk about history. Men have traditionally been seen as the “money guys” – the ones who bring home the bacon and handle the big bucks.
Women, on the other hand, have often been pegged as the nurturers and caregivers. Sometimes women were told to “not worry their pretty little heads about the difficult topic of money.” And this was not that long ago.
Early 1971 The Bank of NSW was the first bank to grant loans to women without a male guarantor. And it was 1974 before women could have a credit card in their own name.
Do you remember our mothers or grandmothers talking about ‘pin money’? The little bit of money they earned on the side, and it was theirs to buy the things they wanted.
Do you feel that your online business income is a bit like ‘pin money’? Play money. Your hobby. Not REAL money?
While we’ve come a long way from these outdated roles, they still cast a long shadow over how women perceive themselves and are perceived in business.
This means that we can feel out of our comfort zone when it comes to money talk. It’s like being asked to suddenly become a magician at a dinner party – you’re expected to pull a rabbit out of a hat, but you’re not sure how to do it or if you even have a hat.
Mind Games: The Imposter Syndrome
Enter the psychological hurdle known as imposter syndrome – that nagging voice in your head telling you that you’re not good enough, that you don’t belong, and that everyone is about to find out you’re a fraud.
Women are particularly prone to this, which makes asking for money even harder. It’s like trying to sell a product you’re not sure works – nerve-wracking and confidence-crushing.
On top of that, women often prioritise relationships and fear that asking for money will make them seem pushy or greedy.
Imagine asking your best friend to pay you back that $20 they owe you – you might worry it’ll make things awkward. Now, scale that up to thousands of dollars in a business setting, and the stakes feel a lot higher.
Have you done a good job for the client? Are they happy with the work? Worries that you could have done better, maybe it wasn’t good enough for the amount you are charging. Maybe you need more qualifications to charge this much. Who do I think I am? These are all thoughts that can go through your head when you are suffering from imposter syndrome.
The Hidden Bias
Let’s not forget about the elephant in the room: bias. Even in 2024, the business world is still predominantly male, and unconscious biases can creep in when women ask for money.
Studies show that women are less likely to receive funding compared to men, even with equally strong proposals. It’s like trying to win a game where the rules are stacked against you from the start.
Plus, the lack of female role models in leadership positions means fewer examples for women to follow. It’s like being asked to navigate a jungle without a map or guide – daunting, to say the least.
Breaking the Money Mold
So, how do we fix this?
Asking for money can be daunting, However, there are some practical steps to overcome this fear and confidently claim what you deserve.
Build Self-Awareness and Confidence
Start by acknowledging your worth. Keep a record of your achievements for you to look over when you are doubting. Keep a file of praise and thanks from past clients and read often.
Practice Assertiveness
Practice makes perfect. Role-play funding requests with a friend or mentor. The more you practice, the more comfortable you’ll become with the process.
Have clarity and a process around how to collect money. When does the first bill goes out, and how long before the follow-up goes out? Do you bill in increments rather than a big bill at the end? Develop a process and – Follow the plan.
A suggestion from DDT is to have a person called Bill who works in your finance department send your requests for payment for tardy payments.
Remember the sooner that you bill the person after you have done the work the more likelihood they will remember what a great job you did for them.
Seek Mentorship and Support
Surround yourself with a strong support network. Mentors who have successfully navigated similar challenges can offer invaluable advice and encouragement. Joining professional groups or networks can also provide a sense of community and shared learning.
Educate Yourself
Knowledge is power. Understanding what others, doing work like yours, are charging can help you feel comfortable setting your rates. Often there is a wide spectrum because others in your field are undervaluing themselves too, so do not think you need to set the lowest rate. People do not want the cheapest they want to know they are getting good value for service and are willing to pay.
Change the Narrative
Finally, shift your mindset.
Asking for money is not about being greedy; it’s about receiving fair compensation for your great work. Reframe the conversation in your mind as advocating for yourself and your contributions.
Sometimes the fear comes from past experiences that we have had or stories we have heard about others, or we have been taught growing up.
EG: Nice girls do not talk about money. It is not nice to ask for money (or anything else you want including the last piece of cake) Don’t be greedy. Girls are not good with money. You are no good at math, so you can’t manage money. Money is a difficult topic you need to leave it up to the experts etc.
All these statements are False
If you need help with this step or any of the previous steps, contact me here and together we can change the programming both in the conscious and subconscious realm.
The struggle for women in business to ask for money is a multifaceted challenge, but it’s not insurmountable. By addressing beliefs we have grown up with, psychological barriers, and our own fears, we can create a world where we can feel as comfortable asking for money as you do asking for that last piece of cake.
And let’s be honest – who doesn’t want their cake and to eat it too?
If you would like to talk with me and discuss how I can help you achieve your goals book here for a free chat.