Does this sound familiar? I’m gonna get do this, or that… one day…
You’ve been telling yourself, “I’m gonna start that project. I’m gonna make a plan for my future. I’m gonna take that big step to change things up…” And yet, here you are—still waiting, still planning, still thinking about “one day.”
For many of us, especially those over 50 who have gone through major life changes like losing a spouse or getting divorced, taking action can feel paralysing. You might feel a mix of frustration, guilt, and anxiety as each day passes, wondering why you’re still stuck.
You’re not alone in this!
Many of us stand on the edge of something new, only to find ourselves hesitating, as if there’s some invisible force holding us back. And that force? It’s often our own fears, our own doubts, and sometimes…ourselves.
I have been going through this exact thing with my business. I want to grow my business and offer what I do to more people, but I keep feeling that I am not ready. I need to learn more; I need to set up a proper course and have all the i’s dotted and t’s crossed. I need to have everything ready. And because of this I haven’t moved forward.
The “I’m Gonna” Trap
We all have a list of “I’m gonna” statements. “I’m gonna start that business.” “I’m gonna take that trip.” “I’m gonna reach out to new friends.” But here’s the thing—sometimes we end up more in love with the idea of these goals than with the actual doing part. There’s comfort in the planning, in the dreaming, and in the fantasizing about a future where everything has magically fallen into place. But at some point, that dream is going to feel more like a burden than a joy if you never act on it.
I have been dreaming what my business will look like and how many people I help, but because it is still a dream, I am sending myself crazy.
Here’s why it’s so common: “I’m gonna” gives you a sense of intention, without the fear of risk. You intend to do something about your life, so you feel proactive without actually leaving your comfort zone. But the comfort zone? It’s sneaky. It convinces you that staying safe and comfortable is better than the risk of failing or feeling vulnerable.
Acknowledge the Fear, Then Invite It to Tea
The tricky part is that this fear can show up in all kinds of costumes. Maybe it looks like worry that you’re too old to start something new. Maybe it looks like concern that you’ll make a fool of yourself, or that people will judge you. Or maybe it’s the fear of not knowing what will happen if you do take that leap.
Here’s the secret: all of those fears are normal, and everyone has them. Yes, even those people you see confidently living their dreams have been scared at some point.
Instead of fighting the fear, try acknowledging it. Imagine you’re inviting your fear over for a cup of tea. You can say, “Hello, Fear. I see you. I know you’re here to protect me, but I’m going to try something new anyway.” By addressing the fear rather than ignoring it, you gain the upper hand. Fear can only stop you if it stays hidden in the shadows. When you bring it into the light, it loses a bit of its power.
A coach did this with me this week. We had a session where we looked at the fear – a big rock in the middle of the road – and asked it what was the problem. All my fears, even though I have been doing this work for years, I am let fears come up and stop me.
Be Kind to Yourself
Many women, find themselves struggling to be gentle with themselves. You may feel like time is running out, or that you’ve “wasted” years not pursuing your dreams. (arghhh, I certainly feel like I have wasted so much time.)
But it’s never too late to start living more fully, and beating yourself up won’t make anything easier. Think of all the things you’ve accomplished and survived in your life—you’ve done hard things before. Trust that you can do hard things again.
When you find yourself feeling frustrated, take a moment to shift gears. Instead of focusing on everything you haven’t done, try listing everything you have accomplished, especially in the last year. Sometimes the small steps we’re already taking can go unnoticed when we’re too busy being hard on ourselves.
Sometimes the timing hasn’t been right. Sometimes we did need to wait. So don’t be too hard on yourself. You are not lazy or hopeless. The time wasn’t right. But now it is.
Start Small, but Start
The first step doesn’t have to be monumental. It just has to be…a step. Maybe you want to start a new hobby, but you’re scared of looking silly. Maybe you want to go out to a social event, but you feel anxious about meeting new people. Whatever it is, start small. Try a ten-minute version of that new hobby at home. Find a group or event that feels a little less intimidating for your first venture out. Just begin somewhere, and build confidence as you go.
The beautiful thing about taking small steps is that they add up. One little action today, then another tomorrow, and before you know it, you’re on your way. Remember, it’s not about leaping out of your comfort zone; it’s about gradually expanding it.
Instead of me writing and offering some big, long course, I am starting small with a small group where I will support people to over come their fears and start taking action. This is so exciting for me, as I get to do what I love the most – making a differenece in peoples lives.
Give Yourself Permission to Dream Bigger
As you start to take action, you’ll find that your dreams grow bigger. New possibilities open up, and that’s when the real magic happens. Allow yourself to imagine the life you want to build, knowing that each step is getting you closer to it.
So here’s your gentle nudge to finally move from “I’m gonna” to “I’m doing.” It doesn’t have to be perfect, and it doesn’t have to be a giant leap. But each step you take away from fear and toward action is a step toward the life you’ve been dreaming about. Now’s the time to let yourself shine!
And one easy step you can take is to join up to my 7 week course. This is all about your goal and you can go at your pace. This is so affordable and such an easy step that will make all the difference.
🔥✨ Spooky and Scared Sale ✨ 🔥
Starting November 4th and running for 7 inspiring weeks until December 16th!
What have you been putting off or feeling too scared to tackle? Here’s your chance to make it happen with support and encouragement every step of the way:
⭐️ Plan for that solo adventure you’ve always dreamed of
⭐️ Get your finances in order and feel more secure
⭐️ Explore new job options or even start your own business
⭐️ Set gentle goals for fitness and well-being
⭐️ Take those first steps toward a healthy new year
Join us every Tuesday 8AM Brisbane time (9AM Sydney time, which is Monday 4PM in MST Salt Lake City) for live Facebook sessions, plus access to a private group where you’ll find ongoing support and guidance. I’m here to share the tools and experience I’ve gained so you can feel empowered and ready for the year ahead.
Together, let’s say goodbye to fear and hello to a new, confident you in 2024!
DM me to save your spot! – Limited spaces available.
