Do you have a noisy critical voice inside you, yelling at you and telling you where you have this life thing wrong?
Today’s blog is all about that voice, where it comes from and why it is there. Then I will talk about some strategies for showing her the door.
It is so hard to be innovative, resourceful and creative problem solver when there is a voice in your head constantly criticizing your every move. The voice that tells you that you are not doing it right, or you should be further along in your business, or that you should be smarter, prettier, younger, and of course wealthier.
The voice beats you up all day long, and never seems to let up, and sometimes you even believe she is right. Why are you doing this business, there are so many others that know more than you do, are cleverer than you, and it seems, that more people like them too.
But think about it. If criticizing yourself was an effective tool for change, you would probably already have everything you wanted!!!
The inner voice is very judgmental, telling us all the areas where we are not achieving, and reminding us constantly. She judges us, we get upset and then we get upset that we got upset, and it becomes a vicious cycle.
There are many ways that people choose to silence the voice. Drinking too much to try and drown the voice, or take drugs to change the feelings of shame and frustration, and many will overeat to either soothe or reward for getting somethings right. Others will just stay so busy they can’t hear the voice, or put on the TV and music to drown out the voice.
None of these methods work. The voice is still there and still being critical, but now has the added areas of what you have done “wrong”. “You’re so stupid, you still haven’t finished writing that blog, and now you can’t because you have had too much to drink. What is wrong with you, are you so stupid you can’t even write a simple article.” And on and on.
This voice can be really mean. Much worse than you would be to your worst enemy. You would not talk to anyone like this, but you talk to yourself all day and every day.
Think of a person who is a bit overweight and they are looking in the mirror. Ideally, she says, “Look at that super women, so capable, so healthy, so loving. Look at all that she has achieved today. What wonderful person.”
Whereas the conversation is more likely to sound like: “Look at you, so fat, look at those ugly legs, they look like tree stumps, and that wobbly belly too. I have no idea what clothes you can put on today to cover all that up, nothing looks any good on you. How have you let yourself get so fat? What is wrong with you? Do you lack so much will power that you cannot even stay on a diet for a day?”
Usually, this voice is the voice of your parents, your teachers and other key people in your early life and the society that you grew up in. These voices are embedded in our subconscious when we are very young. And it is believed that our subconscious runs 90% of all the choices and decisions we make every day.
Your beliefs about money and business might have come from watching your father struggle to make a living, or your parents fight about money. Nearly all of us in the Western World learnt that “you have to work hard to make money.” Another very common one is being very critical of rich people – they are crooks, they lie and cheat to get their money, they have poor relationships, and very poor health. Why would you want to be rich?
If you beat yourself up about weight, it could be things that you were told as a child especially if you were overweight as a child. Or maybe it was just watching your mother be so critical of herself and her weight. Was she always on a diet and not achieving her goals? And again, our society is so critical of what we look like that even the models feel like failures’ in the looks arena.
The first thing to do is to tap on that critical voice. Imagine her sitting on your left shoulder and listen to what she is saying. It could be about your income, your business, your body, your weight, or some habits that you have. Listen for the thoughts about your upcoming webinar, or networking meeting, or maybe it is the school reunion. What do you hear the voice say when you are starting a new project, or you want to do something out of your comfort zone?
Close your eyes and hear all those critical statements. Some of them might even feel like they are the truth. Listen to what she says to you. Then start tapping to quieten the voice a bit. It is very hard to make any changes, even adding tapping to your day, when the inner critic is screaming in your ear.
If you would like some help with this, Click Here, and it will take you to a tapping script to help you calm the voice. Keep going until you feel more peaceful.
Once you have your feelings a bit calmer, it is time to look at all the mean things you say to yourself, and where they come from.
It is worth writing them all down, and see if you can hear whose voice it is and if there is a specific memory that goes with the voice. These then all become your future tapping scripts. There are many layers to this onion, but it is worth it.
One day you will be able to look in the mirror and love the person you see, with no negatives.
Happy Tapping
Kay