Life is full of big transitions, but few are as profound as losing a partner, whether through death or divorce. Even though death is different than divorce both mark the end of a significant chapter in your life, forcing you to confront new realities and adjust to a world that suddenly feels unfamiliar.
Each person’s experience of these is different but for everyone it marks a time of upheaval and change.
These transitions can be overwhelming, but understanding the process and allowing yourself the time and space to heal can make the journey a little less daunting.
The Big Transition After a Partner’s Death
The death of a partner is one of the most challenging experiences one can face. Take it from me, I really know. My husband died 51/2 years ago, and it has taken me a long time to feel normal again.
It’s not just the loss of a person you loved deeply, but also the loss of a shared future, routines, and the life you built together. I wasn’t even sure what TV shows I wanted to watch as that was an activity we did together.
The grief can feel all-encompassing, affecting every aspect of your life.
In the immediate aftermath, you may feel numb, as if you’re going through the motions in a fog. Simple tasks can feel overwhelming, and the idea of moving forward may seem impossible.
This is a time when leaning on others—family, friends, or support groups—can be invaluable. They can offer practical help and emotional support as you begin to process your grief.
As time goes on, you’ll begin to navigate the practical aspects of life without your partner. This might include handling finances, making decisions about your home, or even rethinking your future plans.
It’s important to give yourself permission to take things one step at a time. There’s no right or wrong way to grieve, and no set timeline for when you should feel “better.”
Eventually, you will reach a point where you start to rebuild your life. This doesn’t mean forgetting your partner or moving on from their memory, but rather finding ways to honour them while also creating a new life for yourself.
It’s a gradual process, and it’s okay to still feel moments of deep sadness even as you begin to find joy again.
The Big Transition After Divorce
Divorce is another monumental transition, albeit one that is often more complicated by emotions like anger, guilt, or relief.
Unlike death, divorce involves the active decision to separate,(at least on one side) which can bring its own set of challenges. The end of a marriage can feel like a failure or a loss of identity, especially if you’ve been together for many years.
This is something I also understand, having been divorced from my first husband many years ago, when we had 6 young children.
In the early stages, it’s common to experience a wide range of emotions, from sadness to anger to confusion. You might find yourself questioning your decisions or mourning the loss of the life you thought you’d have.
It’s crucial to allow yourself to feel these emotions without judgment. Divorce is a major life change, and it’s natural to grieve the end of a significant relationship.
As with the death of a partner, divorce requires you to navigate practical changes. You may need to find a new place to live, adjust to a single income, or figure out co-parenting if you have children.
These logistical challenges can be stressful, but they also provide an opportunity to start fresh and create a new path for yourself.
Over time, you’ll begin to adjust to your new reality. This might involve rediscovering who you are outside of the marriage, pursuing new interests, or even starting to date again.
The key is to approach this big transition with an open mind and a willingness to explore new possibilities.
Embracing the Big Transition
Whether you’re dealing with the death of a partner or the end of a marriage through divorce, the transition can be incredibly difficult. However, it’s also a time of potential growth and self-discovery.
While the process is rarely easy, it can lead to a deeper understanding of yourself and what you want from life moving forward.
It’s important to be patient with yourself during these times. Healing and adjustment don’t happen overnight, and it’s okay to take things at your own pace.
Surround yourself with supportive people, seek professional help if needed, and remember that it’s okay to ask for help.
Seeking help and support from a neutral person is invaluable. Someone you can talk things through with. Someone who understands what you are going through and someone who can help you process the anger, grief and sadness.
I offer a 13 week 1 on 1 coaching package which is exactly this. It is tailor-made to exactly what you need. With my depth of understanding of what you are experiencing and my counselling background, plus the power of EFT, I can help you in this journey.
As you navigate this transition, try to focus on the possibilities that lie ahead. This doesn’t mean ignoring your pain, but rather acknowledging it while also remaining open to the new opportunities that life may bring.
I can promise that in time, you’ll find your way through the darkness and begin to build a new life, one step at a time.
I would love to help you. Book here