Hi everybody it’s Kay here and welcome back to another video blog.
Today we’re going to talk about fear of success.
Now many of you will have heard of fear of failure and we all know that feeling of like, “Uh, I can’t do that. I might mess it up.” And that’s fear of failure.
And we all have some fear of failure.
We don’t want to mess up. We don’t want to fail. That’s simple.
But what do you feel about a fear of success? Do you think that’s a real thing?
And there’s some controversy saying there’s no such thing as fear of success. It’s all fear of failure.
So that you might have the fear that if you get very successful, people won’t like you. So really that isn’t that really a fear that people won’t like you? A fear of failure.
But I’m going to say that there is such a thing as fear of success.
And the reason I say that is because I actually think it’s my big fears – a fear of success.
Failure is sort of a bit like, “Yeah and I might mess up but that’s okay.”
But fear of success – now that’s really scary.
So why would success be so scary?
And let’s just see if this resonates for you? It might not.
Maybe it’s just fear of failure, but just see if some of this plays out for you too.
So if I’m successful, Who am I going to be? I’m going to be a different person than I am now.
And maybe I don’t want to be that person.
I like being like a suburban housewife. If I’m really successful, what is that going to me?
If I’m really successful, I’m gonna have to keep it going. I’m gonna have to keep being successful.
I’ve set up a precedent of what I’ve got to be like, and I’m gonna have to do that forever. I like dogging around at home and being a nobody.
What if I’m successful and I can’t keep it going? Then who am I gonna be? And I guess that’s a bit of fear of failure isn’t it?
But you know am I going to be me?
I fear success because I’m just not sure what it looks like and whether I want to go there.
So there’s all of these crazy reasons you could say why something like success sounds scary.
So think of it with the weight loss journey.
If you’re successful, what is that going to mean?
People will look at you. People are going to admire you. People are going to congratulate you.
Maybe you don’t like lots of attention.
If you’re successful with money, what is that going to mean? And all of the things that that could bring up for you?
So what does it mean if you’re successful with money?
Are you worried that you’re going to support a whole bunch of people. That people are going to want to come and borrow money of you.
If you’re successful with money, then are you going to move house.
And maybe you don’t want to move house. Or you feel like you’ve got to wear different clothes.
Some of those things of course aren’t true.
You can stay in your house and you can stay wearing the same clothes, but there’s a feeling of like, “But successful people are like this and behave like this and dress like this and I don’t want to be like that.”
I have a real dislike of painted ladies and somehow I just associate being rich as a painted lady.
I don’t want to be painted lady.
And of course, the message is I don’t have to be.
I can be myself and be rich. I can be me in the right way. I can be me and be healthy. I can be me and be happy.
Oh, can you? Can you really feel that you can be you and be happy?
If you’ve had a life of difficulty and struggle, what does a life of not struggling look like?
And believe it or not, that can be a fear.
Because anything that’s different or unusual or not the way you’ve run your life, can feel strange. And we can feel fear because fear is really stepping into that unknown.
Now the next decision you’ve got to make is, “Are you going to overcome that fear?”
So if it is the fear of being successful, are you willing to be successful and face those fears?
And the big issue that we’ve gotta decide is if you’ve got this fear, of course, the fear is about trying to keep you safe.
It’s trying to keep you in the nice little safe place that you are in a very comfortable place.
You know how it all works and you’re happy to stay there.
Whereas success means you’ve stepped up, you’ve taken some steps and you’ve moved to another level.
Are you ready for that? Are you willing to move?
And this is where it’s really important to look at your goals and see whether that is something that you’re willing to move into.
Because if you’ve got a belief that success means I’m going to have to wear makeup and fancy clothes every day, then your subconscious brain will be saying to you, “I don’t think it’s worth it. Thatdoesn’t sound like you. You don’t want to do that.”
And it’s gonna be pulling you back. So you’re gonna have this constant moving of like trying to achieve something, but trying to not achieve it at the same time.
Like I said of some work. And your subconscious brain is much stronger than your conscious brain and so it will be.
So if you’ve got any fear of success, you need to tap it away so that you can achieve the success you want.
So the tapping will look like you know, “Even though I’m afraid of..” and it will be, “…I don’t want to wear makeup. You know rich people wear these clothes. Rich people are greedy. Rich people are horrible.”
Like all of the reasons why you wouldn’t want to be rich.
Success looks like this. You know like movie stars that are crazy.
So think about what it means to be successful.
What are your preconceived ideas of what success looks like?
And not all of them are going to make sense.
I’m not suggesting that this is the way it has to be. I’m just saying that our brain thinks that all rich people wear makeup all the time, or all rich people are greedy. And so why would you want to be successful?
Or all people who got the gorgeous figures, you know getting sexually harassed.
Again, you don’t want that so why would you achieve it?
Look at your goals.
What do you want to achieve for success?
And then look at all of these thoughts that are coming in saying, “But success looks like this.” And tap them away.
Because none of it is true.
A successful person is you just the way you are right now. And you don’t have to fear having success.
Tap away those fears and enjoy success.